Re: Starting Fresh

Well, I'm back after taking a week off chatting on the net. The pain is still here but it’s slowly seeping away. I've learned a lot from what happened over the past few weeks.

Basically, I need to be way more careful before I start to trust new people in my life. I mean sure, I love meeting new people, I don't have a problem with that. The problem I have is how do I start to trust them? Its not an easy thing to do but I'm going to have to be strong and really get to know the person before I can put any trust in them!

The thing was before I would trust people so easy just because they seemed "nice." Well some people are two-faced and just because they seem like a good person, doesn't mean that in fact they are a good person. As someone once said: "Just because it looks and sounds good on the outside, doesn't mean that it's good on the inside. Sometimes you have to dig further down and find the rotten part of them."

So yeah, the net can be a great place, and it can also be a horrible place too! People can put on "acts" to pretend to be your friend, and then turn around and back stab you. It’s really sad what the world has come to, but there are still some good people left on this earth. I will carry on with my head up and not let some two-faced back stabbing jerks ruin my life. As the saying goes "what goes around, comes around." I do believe this to be true, and I'm sure in some way those people will have bad karma. I know that in the end I will win and as many of you know I never give up.

-Ryan

Re: Who Can I Trust?

Re: It's Been A While!

It seems like forever since I’ve written a blog so I thought I would update you all on how I’m doing.

Well, I’ve been really working a lot, so that is keeping me very busy leaving very little free time. I like my new position; it gives me a lot of variety from editing to shooting to master control on-air operations. We are celebrating our 15^th year anniversary at our station so I’ve been doing tons of promos to get the word out.

For my personal life it could be better but also could be worse. I am still single, lonely, and frustrated with life. I pretty much have made no effort in trying to communicate with people who don’t talk to me on a regular basis. I guess I have given up on certain people, which is probably for the best. I’ve learned to just be happy with the few very good friends I do have. Eventually, when I move out I hope to be able to get out more often and meet new people.

Finally, I turned 24 recently and had a great birthday. I got two new computers (which I paid for myself) but I figured Its been about 6 years since I’ve bought a new computer. One of my computers is for work and the other one for personal stuff. I’m still as nerdy as ever and plan on staying that way! J

Hope all is well with everyone!

Till next time,

Ryan

Re: Moving On

Well for once I have good news to report. I'm happy to report that things have finally  settled down and I am starting to feel stable again. However, to make this happen I've had to make a few changes in my life, and that is mainly why I'm writing this blog. First of all I'd like to give a huge thanks to a few very special people who have stepped up to the plate and have made me realize a lot of things about my life and its  kept a smile on my face and kept my head up knowing that I finally have a few stable people who I  can turn to when I'm feeling down, or just need someone to talk to, or just someone to share a good joke with and have a good laugh.

On a more serious note, I've also come to realize that people tend to come and go from the internet. And for those people who I once considered to be my friends in the past but don't talk to me much anymore today, I consider them "acquaintances" now. Just to make this clear it doesn't mean I don't care about them anymore, it just means that I don't plan on going out of my way anymore to try to keep in touch with these people who don't reply to my messages or phone calls. In fact, Its really not my loss if they want to treat me like that, I consider it their problem and not mine. I frankly don't always understand why people don't keep in touch, but all I can say is that I tried my best, and that's the best thing I can do! So if they don't want to talk, well, it isn't really my problem. I mean sure, it hurts me inside. but I've learned just to "move on" hence the title of my blog. People just aren't worth fighting for in order to get them to communicate with me.

To me, friendship takes the part of both people to make a good friendship work, and if both people don't work together with each other, then the friendship just isn't there. I know I try my best to be there for my friends who do care about me. Trust me, I know very well what a true friend is, and thankfully I'm glad to say that I have a few of them, and I've finally come to realize that's all I need to keep me going strong.

So once again thanks to my true friends for being there for me, you know I care with all my heart about ya all.

Finally, I wanted to say one last thing. Just remember to keep your head to the sky and follow your heart and look up to your dreams. And trust me, I know my dreams are going to happen, because I won't let anyone or anything stop me.

Till next time,

Ryan

Re: Frustrated Of People Being Lame

Well lately I've been feeling some very mixed emotions and I think it's about time I sit down and figure out what's really bothering me. So for starters I think some of my friends are just plain out lame!!! I mean how sad is it that I send out over 100 comments for Christmas and maybe get 4 or 5 replies back. It doesn't exactly make me feel like I'm anyone's best friend if you know what I'm saying. Also, I sent a couple messages out to my friends and of course they have time to read them but do they reply....of course....NOT!!! People it doesn't take more then 30 seconds to write a freaking short message to say you’re alive and well. Face it, life is too short, and if you knew you were going to get hit by a truck tomorrow I think that you would try to live your life a bit different.

It just amazes me that people have time to post bulletins, and redo their myspace but yet don't want to take the time to reply to a simple e-mail. Perhaps its time that I start trying to find friends that really do care about me. I know there are a few of you who really care about me and I thank you for that! I know its hard to keep in touch with everyone, but I try my best to keep on top of things.

Right now I just feel like I am always down about something and the more and more I realize the reason why I think I'm down all the time. I think its because I really only have one person that I communicate with every day on a consistent basis! Before I used to talk to a lot of people every day and I felt like I was appreciated. Now, I just don't know if people are just too busy or just plain out right don't care about me anymore. Or maybe they just aren't busy but don't care to take the time to talk to the ones who really care about them. Whatever the case may be, I hope to someday find someone special that will appreciate me for who I am, because right now I don't feel very loved and I hope that can change soon. I'd really appreciate it if I heard from some of my friends, I could use it right now.

-Ryan