Well lately I've been feeling some very mixed emotions and I think it's about time I sit down and figure out what's really bothering me. So for starters I think some of my friends are just plain out lame!!! I mean how sad is it that I send out over 100 comments for Christmas and maybe get 4 or 5 replies back. It doesn't exactly make me feel like I'm anyone's best friend if you know what I'm saying. Also, I sent a couple messages out to my friends and of course they have time to read them but do they reply....of course....NOT!!! People it doesn't take more then 30 seconds to write a freaking short message to say you’re alive and well. Face it, life is too short, and if you knew you were going to get hit by a truck tomorrow I think that you would try to live your life a bit different.

It just amazes me that people have time to post bulletins, and redo their myspace but yet don't want to take the time to reply to a simple e-mail. Perhaps its time that I start trying to find friends that really do care about me. I know there are a few of you who really care about me and I thank you for that! I know its hard to keep in touch with everyone, but I try my best to keep on top of things.

Right now I just feel like I am always down about something and the more and more I realize the reason why I think I'm down all the time. I think its because I really only have one person that I communicate with every day on a consistent basis! Before I used to talk to a lot of people every day and I felt like I was appreciated. Now, I just don't know if people are just too busy or just plain out right don't care about me anymore. Or maybe they just aren't busy but don't care to take the time to talk to the ones who really care about them. Whatever the case may be, I hope to someday find someone special that will appreciate me for who I am, because right now I don't feel very loved and I hope that can change soon. I'd really appreciate it if I heard from some of my friends, I could use it right now.

-Ryan