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| Hey Everyone, I hope you all had a good Thanksgiving. Mine was pretty good for the most part. I spent some time with my aunts playing card games and stuff which is something I haven't had a chance to do with them in a long time, and I must say that it was really nice for a change.
Well, as many of you know I have been trying to change things in my life to be a happier less depressed person. I didn't like being down all the time so I knew I had to do something to change that. I took the advice of many of my friends and now am doing a lot better.
Yeah, I'm still lonely at times because I am single, but I'm hoping I'll find someone that can change that, if anyone has any tips or advice for me, please let me know. So yeah, many of my friends are getting in relationships and I would like to congratulate them, and I wish them the best. I know there is someone out there for me, and I know that it will be worth the wait in the long run. Besides, I'm still young right?
In other news, I just got a raise at my job and they also are working on promoting me to a part time/full time career employee with full benefits, so I hope this will happen in the next few months. When it does, I plan to move out in a year and finally get my life going on my own, which I know won't be as easy as I think, but I think it will really make a big difference in my life.
Well that's all for now, Happy Holidays!
Ryan | | |
| Hey Everyone, I hope you all had a good Thanksgiving. Mine was pretty good for the most part. I spent some time with my aunts playing card games and stuff which is something I haven't had a chance to do with them in a long time, and I must say that it was really nice for a change. Well, as many of you know I have been trying to change things in my life to be a happier less depressed person. I didn't like being down all the time so I knew I had to do something to change that. I took the advice of many of my friends and now am doing a lot better. Yeah, I'm still lonely at times because I am single, but I'm hoping I'll find someone that can change that, if anyone has any tips or advice for me, please let me know. So yeah, many of my friends are getting in relationships and I would like to congratulate them, and I wish them the best. I know there is someone out there for me, and I know that it will be worth the wait in the long run. Besides, I'm still young right? In other news, I just got a raise at my job and they also are working on promoting me to a part time/full time career employee with full benefits, so I hope this will happen in the next few months. When it does, I plan to move out in a year and finally get my life going on my own, which I know won't be as easy as I think, but I think it will really make a big difference in my life.
Well that's all for now, Happy Holidays!
Ryan | | |
| Sometimes I miss the old days when I was younger and I would just sit around and have fun for hours with my friends. Now, I'm alone and it seems like those hours go by ever so slowly. So here I am sitting here alone in my room, sad that only a couple people are here for me. I've been doing pretty well lately, but it seems like that roller coaster is heading down again. I wish people would just be here for me. How hard is it to ask to keep in touch! Maybe I expect too much of people, but lately I've just given up on certain friends as it seems they have lost interest or have other things going on in their life's. That's fine though, I can't expect everyone to be here for me 100% of the time. I am a reasonable person, but I just don't get why people don't talk to me much anymore. It makes me feel like I'm a horrible friend and a looser, but everyone tells me I have a heart of gold and they don't get why people treat me badly. I'm trying everything in my power to be there for my friends and to be the best person and friend I can to them, I just hope someone can do the same for me right now. -Ryan | | |
| Sometimes I really wonder why I even bother trying to be a nice guy. Here I beat myself up for stuff that I really didn’t do. I know my friends tell me I’m hard on myself and I know they are right. For those of you who have known me a long time, know that I’m all about respect. My philosophy is simple, you give me respect and I’ll do the same for you. To me, it doesn’t matter the color of your skin or what age you are, or how popular or “hot” you may be. What matters is what’s inside your heart. If you have a good heart then you will get farther in life then people who don’t give a rats behind. As you can probably see I’ve been upset for a few days now. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and sometimes I wonder what goes on inside of other people’s heads. My friends know that I’m big on communication and that I try my best to keep in touch with them. Now, I realize that people get busy and don’t always have time to keep in touch, but that seems to be becoming all too common of an excuse these days. I find it very sad that people don’t try to find time to spend with the ones they love and care about. Life is just way too short and unfortunately I’ve learned that the hard way when I lost my Dad. Because of that, I realized how much more I should have been there for him when he was fighting his cancer. I wish I could heal that pain, but because of that I’ve tried even harder to keep in touch with not only my friends, but my family to. I’m not saying that I’m not a busy person, because I know that sometimes I get really busy too! But, even if I can’t talk for long, I’ll always try to drop a quick “Hey sup?” just to see how people are doing and to show them that I care. Perhaps I’m pushing myself too hard, I really don’t know. But I feel like I’m being torn apart, maybe this is self-inflicted depression, and my guess is that it’s probably part of me being too hard on myself. However, I really would appreciate people talking to me, as right now that is the only thing that seems to be making me feel decent. -Ryan | | |
| Why should anyone care about me? I try to be patient with people but my patience is slowly running out. I’m starting to really think people don’t care about me. I really only talk to one or two of my friends daily anymore and it’s sad, it really is sad. What am I doing wrong? Here I try to always be there for my friends when they need me, but yet, it seems like when I need a friend there for me they somehow magically disappear and I’m left on my own. I don’t know what to do or think anymore. Considering most of my life is here on-line and I know that might seem sad, but it actually usually is very enjoying. I’m getting to the point where I will just talk to anyone, just because my regular friends aren’t even around. I’ve made quite a few friends on a chat room that I frequent, but I don’t know, I still miss talking to my regular friends, it’s just not the same, if you know what I mean. At this point I’m pretty much lost for words. Perhaps I should go back to playing video games, at least it kept me happy and was entertaining. I really don’t know what I’m going to do, but I need to find something because being depressed is not good and thank you to all of you who have been there for me. -Ryan | | |
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